You Loved Me, Not I

It always has been a beautiful feeling to fall in love. But what happens when that one isn't in love with you? Heart break, a tradition which has become much popular now. No matter how much you try and how longer you cry, that one doesn't seem to hear you. Everything fails. Everything falls flat on that-one.

It was the first day you have seen him, and he caught your eye. You kept staring him, as you were walking slowly and slowly across the field. The next moment came a crowd between you and him and your pace just increased without your intention. In another moment he vanished! You get startled and look around as if something is gone. You looked here, and you looked there to find him in vain. Your pace increased as you kept searching for him. You matched everybody's face with that single one but alas! You couldn't find. You became relaxed and left the place to join your friends. You met your friends; you wanted to tell them what happened, you wanted to tell them what you felt, but you didn't, you felt it was just an incidence.

The next day, at the same time, you felt to visit the same place. You didn't intend it, but someone inside you was excited to go there. You couldn't hold it. You went to the same place. You were afraid first what was this, was it right? But as you reached there you were lost again. You saw him. His eyes, his hair, his smile. Everything was mesmerizing you. You didn't think for a second. You stood still. You just stared and stared until he left. You came to reality. You were not sure what was happening! You were talking to yourself. You told yourself this can't be love?! Your inside replied then what could it be? You argued with yourself, and it was a tie. You didn't know.

Now this continued over some days, you got chances to talk to him, you gossiped and you felt something is controlling over you. You found him everywhere. You want to talk about him with your friend. But you were afraid. You knew it was love, you felt it was love but you didn't accept it. You were afraid that love couldn't be so simple. When everyone used to say they fell in love at first sight you refused that. Now you were in that plight. You resisted, but inside-of-you forced. A tug-of-war started inside you.

Next you sought for your friend. You explained her everything. From the top to the toe. Your friend smiled. She shouted and announced that you were in love. She danced and took you with her. Your inside argues reduced. You calmed. You answered yourself, "So I'm in love!" You danced too. You smiled as you thought of him. You wanted to talk to him more. And planned to do that the next day.

It was the next day. Your friend managed to setup a meeting. You were excited. And waited for him. He came. You saw him. Your heart stopped. You couldn't speak. Nothing came out of your mouth. You opened your lips. You told him that you love him, and waited.

And waited...

He looked stuck. Then he smiled, and he answered softly. "Look, I'm also in love, but it is a different girl." And he left.

You went blank. You didn’t know what happened! You felt alone. Your eyes moistened; a tear came in your eyes. You stood still for some moments. You left the place, moved fast and caught up to him. You called him. He stopped. You told him that you really love him, and you would do anything to show that. You were crazy for him, and you want him in your life!

He hesitated, a bit irritated. “I told you, I love somebody else. So please forget this and leave me.” But you repeated that you love only him. He was your life.

He didn’t bother and walked away replying, “You loved me, not I”

That night was a hell. You cried for long, shouted hard, complained, but no one seemed to hear you. You were all alone.

Days passed, now you don’t like him. You hate love the most. Now, you complain to love. You call love a liar. You tell, it only breaks heart. You ask love about the justice. But love keeps mum.

It can’t speak to you. It can’t tell you that it is not selfish. It wants you to understand that "love is pure". Love seeks only happiness. It can’t explain you that, loving someone don’t mean gaining that-one. It doesn’t mean whether you are with him or not, if you would have loved him you would have only seen happiness for him. You would have felt happy in which he is happy. If loving someone makes him happy; then your love for him is to “let-him-love-her to be happy”. Love even can’t tell you that you didn’t fall in love; it was mere an attraction!